So, the other day, a friend of mine was telling me that she was taking her child on a “go see”.  I asked her what that meant and she explained that it is what they call a casting call for models, or something like that, don’t quote me, but that’s the gist.  I thought the term was pretty cool.  To me, if feels like it takes some of the pressure out of an otherwise stressful situation.  I am not trying out, oh no, I am just going to “go see”.  I’m just, you know, going to see what happens…maybe they will book me for the modeling job and I will possibly rocket into super stardom OR maybe not, whatever.

Life with a go for it and just see what happens attitude is waaaay more fun.  Imagine approaching something as potentially self-esteem bruising as a modeling call with a child-like attitude of adventure.  I don’t know about you, but that image instantly makes me want to try new things and reach outside my comfort zone a bit more just to experience that kind of wonder and excitement on a regular basis.

When it comes to getting embarrassed, feeling rejected, looking dumb and all those other negative feelings I spent a so long trying to avoid, I realized something powerful and life awesomizing.  It isn’t in avoiding experiences that we escape those yucky feelings, it is in shifting our perception of those experiences that we free ourselves from the sucky feelings that we fear.  Meaning, if we DECIDE not to perceive an experience as embarrassing, um, it won’t be.

I am not saying that we need to run around confronting every fear we have ever let, unless you want to, to which I say, “Go forth and kick ass, my friend!”  But, I am saying that if something seems exciting, if you are drawn to it, if you can’t get it out of your head and the ONLY thing really stopping you from doing it is fear of failure, fear of what others might think, fear of reject…you get the point.  THEN YES, please remind yourself of our new mantra and just “go see” what it’s like to go do that big, wonderful thing that both terrifies and thrills you all at the same time.  If it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped you get to decide if you are going to spend your energy being embarrassed and ashamed or if you are going to learn from the experience and let it help you navigate toward an even better path next time.

I have yet to hear someone say, “Man, I am really sorry I went for that <insert big goal here>.  I should have just stayed home in my pjs.”  Um no, that doesn’t happen.  I have, however, heard people say, “I wish I HAD gone for that <insert unreached goal here>.  I regret having stayed home in my pjs.”  I am paraphrasing, of course, but while the words might change, the sentiment remains.

Good news, though, ok?!  If you are reading this, it means that it IS NOT TOO LATE, I repeat, IT IS NOT TOO LATE.  How fabulous is that?!  You have a CHOICE (sorry for all the upper-case letters, feeling a little pumped about this ).  You can hang out in your pjs and think, wish and dream OR you can, um you know what I am going to say, right? Yes, OR you can Go See!  I vote for the second choice, in case you are asking my opinion.

What is your big, scary goal?  Dish the dirt, I can’t wait to hear.

Here is a link to an adorable printable from my friend, Blanca (www.colorfulblanca.com) about this very thing.  She reminds you to pick something exciting and just start.  If it doesn’t work the first time, just try again.  NO BIGGIE.  You are just having fun and going to see.

HOW TO START cheat sheet

xoxo,

Jen

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Ok, so have you ever noticed how scary it feels when you perceive a choice as a “big mistake ” that can’t be fixed?  Guess what?!  This is the best news ever!  I have come to the happiness producing, more calming than a swedish massage (if that’s your thing) realization that 99% of mistakes are NO BIG DEAL.  For girls like me who are recovering from perfectionism this kind of epiphany is HUGE!

The most successful, kick-ass superstars on this planet have already discovered this information.  They get it, they know that a mistake is just a learning experience, a chance to tweak their approach, a step closer to reaching their goals.

For the longest time, I sat in “analysis paralysis” feeling like I couldn’t take a step for fear it might be the wrong one.  But seriously, life is a process of trial and error, is it not?  How are we supposed to know what’s right if we don’t try?  Sitting on the sidelines watching the game isn’t much fun.  I used to think that if I watched from the bleachers long enough, I would “know” what it was like to be in the game, be one of the players.  I was sure that eventually, logging enough time watching (analyzing) I could figure out my game plan.  I could sidestep all the mistakes I watched others making and protect myself from failure.

But the thing is, no amount of “spectating” (I warned you I make up my own words) could have prepared me.  You can’t really know what it is to be a player UNLESS you ARE a player.  Duh, right?  You can’t figure out how to be awesome at what you do until you DO IT.  The only way to get good at something is to try, fail, get up, try again and keep practicing.  And that is OK.  Not only is it ok, it is brave.

That’s what I call LIVING, people.  Sitting at the edge of the pool, dipping your toe in and thinking that you will learn how to swim?  That is a sucky feeling.

But, risking embarrassment, temporary set backs and actually going for it.  That is living.  That takes courage and a belief in your own ability to figure it out.

That is why I have started writing to you.  If I go for it, tell you about my adventures, let you know that I made some big mistakes and silly choices along the way and everything is still OK, better than ok, AWESOME.  Then maybe, you can think about some of the edits you want to make to your story too.  We aren’t stuck in our stories.  Life is a choose your own adventure series.  If you went down a path that didn’t work out, you get to go back to the fork in the road and try again. How great is that??  It makes me endlessly happy to know that.  It makes me willing to take risks and reach out.  How about you?

On that note, here is a beautiful quote to chew on.

Get the printable here.   Life you are Proud of

xoxo,

Jen

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